I have been thinking for some time now that I might like to get back to blogging. However, this time it is for different reasons. Until today I hadn't even given this place a second look since I last posted...actually I have avoided it. I am not exactly sure, but I think it almost gave me a feeling of failure. But I am learning to look at things a bit differently than I did a year [or even 6 months] ago. When I stopped posting here things were busy, and I had started working on my photography blog. I was swamped with fall sessions and Christmas card designs and Christmas shopping and wanting to make the most of the holidays with my family, etc...[end super long run-on sentence]. On top of all those reasons I think I stopped posting because I wasn't getting the response I had hoped for. Actually I wasn't really getting much of a response at all. A year ago I thought I was wasting my time if no one was commenting or showing interest. I thought if I didn't have a huge following it was pointless, but now I have such a different point of view. Just before I started this post I was still second guessing whether I should "waste" my time again, but then I looked back at my old posts. Those posts were boring to most people. They weren't fabulously styled, featured on blogs with followings in the thousands, and in half the photos I wasn't even wearing makeup. But I smiled when I viewed those posts because I realized they were a sort of diary of my [happy] life. I realize now that it doesn't matter if I have hundreds or even tens of viewers. I can look back at the things I loved, the things I photographed, and every silly, sarcastic comment I wrote and remember what I was like then. Though it was only a year ago, I know I have changed immensely in some ways and none in others, but I love having such a common, candid look into our lives for the short time I was sharing. Though I may have a tiny bit of regret not having recorded tidbits from this last year, I think the break was what I needed. I have done some much needed reflecting, and now I will start again with a new motivation for each post. I make no promises to myself or anyone else on how often I will post, how glamorous [or totally unglamorous] each post will be, or even how long I will continue posting. I will be the first to admit that sometimes I am wishy washy when it comes to commitments to myself. Today I have grand ideas of recording our day-to-day in a bit more detail so that I can remember every seed planted and every pillow cushion sewn. Tomorrow I may have a change of heart, but we will see what tomorrow brings. At least I wrote this down so I will remember how I felt today, after my run, sitting on the porch swing my grandpa built some 45 years ago, and enjoying the most beautiful weather I think I have ever witnessed.
And now after all that reflecting I think I am going to go make myself a burrito.